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Information needed
Posted: Sat Jun 22, 2019 1:06 pm
by coppinpr
Early this week I had to do 4 hours detention (sorry I mean a speed awareness course) to avoid being birched (sorry I mean getting 3 points on my licence)
At the end of the course came the usual "any questions?"
Only one was asked:
"How do you make a car leave the skid marks shown on the road sign below?" Answers on a postcard to "the minister of transport, c/o the city of London asylum (sorry, Houses of Parliament).
Re: information needed
Posted: Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:18 pm
by badpenny
360° pirouette.
Also I suggest it's not sensible to ridicule the police or their systems, they have infinite time to invest in wasting yours and endless experience in entertaining themselves at your cost.
I came to this conclusion 18 years ago when I was stopped in the middle of a town because they didn't like the font on my number plate. I had sensibly replied to their enquiry as to how I was today sir by suggesting to them that they really should have better things to be dealing with.
They gently advised me that a number plate's purpose was to be legible in an agreed and uniform manner. I was then asked how I would feel if my Grandmother was run over by a vehicle that proved to be untraceable due to the registration plate being confusing.
Obviously they were 100% correct and I endorsed my position by shaking my head, tutting and confirming that I would review my beliefs concerning zombies as they had both been dead since the early 60s. I further requested photographic evidence of my previously believed extinct grandparents as they wandered the streets as I was sure the rest of the family would be keen to update their photograph albums.
The further few hours were less entertaining as I gave them chapter and verse supported by written evidence from when I was born in 1954 up to and including the moment I responded to their request and I pulled over.
BP
PS … at least I didn't learn what it's like to be spread eagled across the bonnet while peering down the business end of a semi automatic with the safety off. That was a different story and occurred in North Spain in 1975.
Re: Information needed
Posted: Sat Jun 22, 2019 8:11 pm
by coppinpr
Well there is one thing we have in common, I was forcibly removed from a railway sleeper carriage at 1am in northern Spain in 1969 by by two Fascist (and in 1969, as they were in 75, they really were Fascist) policeman with semi-automatics with the safety off. Exciting times.
Re: Information needed
Posted: Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:55 am
by john t peterson
I once got stopped for a noise citation driving a car with a shot muffler. Does that count? (It's the best I can do.)
J Peterson
Gangsta, USA style
Re: Information needed
Posted: Sun Jun 23, 2019 10:04 am
by badpenny
….. only if your finger nails were dirty.
PS It's called an exhaust. A muffler is what a Scottish person wears around their neck in Winter and is made of wool.
Re: Information needed
Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:19 am
by arrgee
coppinpr wrote:I was forcibly removed from a railway sleeper carriage at 1am
Slightly off-topic, but did you know that the record for peeing off our local railway station bridge was set at 1.00am and reached 4 sleepers along the track. To my recollection this was back in the late 1960s.
Re: Information needed
Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2019 12:47 pm
by special when lit
Hope it wasn't an electrified line!
Re: Information needed
Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:01 pm
by arrgee
No, an old branch line that was ripped up years ago. The most amusing part of this was that the surname of the lad who did this was 'Shot'.
Re: Information needed
Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2019 10:04 am
by coppinpr
What was his first name? "Long" or "Should be"?
arrgee wrote: ↑Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:19 am
Slightly off-topic, but did you know that the record for peeing off our local railway station bridge was set at 1.00am and reached 4 sleepers along the track. To my recollection this was back in the late 1960s.
I guess that would make him in his 70s now and lucky if his production could reach the ground let alone 4 sleepers.