Enter the Honourable Judge's favourite tavern for a dram of Tittle Tattle. There's an ancient bandit in the corner, but I forget his name...
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coppinpr
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Information needed

Postby coppinpr » Sat Jun 22, 2019 1:06 pm

Early this week I had to do 4 hours detention (sorry I mean a speed awareness course) to avoid being birched (sorry I mean getting 3 points on my licence)
At the end of the course came the usual "any questions?"
Only one was asked:
"How do you make a car leave the skid marks shown on the road sign below?" Answers on a postcard to "the minister of transport, c/o the city of London asylum (sorry, Houses of Parliament).
slippery-road.jpg
slippery-road.jpg (10.69 KiB) Viewed 1660 times

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badpenny
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Re: information needed

Postby badpenny » Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:18 pm

360° pirouette.
Also I suggest it's not sensible to ridicule the police or their systems, they have infinite time to invest in wasting yours and endless experience in entertaining themselves at your cost.

I came to this conclusion 18 years ago when I was stopped in the middle of a town because they didn't like the font on my number plate. I had sensibly replied to their enquiry as to how I was today sir by suggesting to them that they really should have better things to be dealing with.
They gently advised me that a number plate's purpose was to be legible in an agreed and uniform manner. I was then asked how I would feel if my Grandmother was run over by a vehicle that proved to be untraceable due to the registration plate being confusing.

Obviously they were 100% correct and I endorsed my position by shaking my head, tutting and confirming that I would review my beliefs concerning zombies as they had both been dead since the early 60s. I further requested photographic evidence of my previously believed extinct grandparents as they wandered the streets as I was sure the rest of the family would be keen to update their photograph albums.
The further few hours were less entertaining as I gave them chapter and verse supported by written evidence from when I was born in 1954 up to and including the moment I responded to their request and I pulled over.

BP !!SUICIDAL!!

PS … at least I didn't learn what it's like to be spread eagled across the bonnet while peering down the business end of a semi automatic with the safety off. That was a different story and occurred in North Spain in 1975.

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coppinpr
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Re: Information needed

Postby coppinpr » Sat Jun 22, 2019 8:11 pm

Well there is one thing we have in common, I was forcibly removed from a railway sleeper carriage at 1am in northern Spain in 1969 by by two Fascist (and in 1969, as they were in 75, they really were Fascist) policeman with semi-automatics with the safety off. Exciting times. !SCARED!

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john t peterson
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Re: Information needed

Postby john t peterson » Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:55 am

I once got stopped for a noise citation driving a car with a shot muffler. Does that count? (It's the best I can do.)

J Peterson
Gangsta, USA style

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badpenny
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Re: Information needed

Postby badpenny » Sun Jun 23, 2019 10:04 am

….. only if your finger nails were dirty.

PS It's called an exhaust. A muffler is what a Scottish person wears around their neck in Winter and is made of wool. :roll:

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arrgee
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Re: Information needed

Postby arrgee » Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:19 am

coppinpr wrote:I was forcibly removed from a railway sleeper carriage at 1am
Slightly off-topic, but did you know that the record for peeing off our local railway station bridge was set at 1.00am and reached 4 sleepers along the track. To my recollection this was back in the late 1960s. :burp:

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special when lit
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Re: Information needed

Postby special when lit » Mon Jun 24, 2019 12:47 pm

Hope it wasn't an electrified line! :zapa:

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arrgee
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Re: Information needed

Postby arrgee » Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:01 pm

No, an old branch line that was ripped up years ago. The most amusing part of this was that the surname of the lad who did this was 'Shot'. :HaHa:

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coppinpr
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Re: Information needed

Postby coppinpr » Wed Jun 26, 2019 10:04 am

What was his first name? "Long" or "Should be"?
arrgee wrote:
Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:19 am
Slightly off-topic, but did you know that the record for peeing off our local railway station bridge was set at 1.00am and reached 4 sleepers along the track. To my recollection this was back in the late 1960s.
I guess that would make him in his 70s now and lucky if his production could reach the ground let alone 4 sleepers. :#:


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