Enter the Honourable Judge's favourite tavern for a dram of Tittle Tattle. There's an ancient bandit in the corner, but I forget his name...
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coppinpr
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby coppinpr » Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:03 pm

Im going to get my money back after the Olympics by leaving it there and turning it into a Mcdonalds, the Navy dont have a use for it , might do more harm than terrorists that way but what the hell :!?!:

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badpenny
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby badpenny » Sun Jul 29, 2012 8:21 pm

I accidently trapped myself in front of a television the other night the same time as The Olympic Boasting Show, now what I want to know is where the hell are the following .......

Aruba, Benin, Burkina Faso, Comoros, Kiribati, Kyrgyzstan, Myanmar, Nauru, Saint Timor-Leste, :o
I thought the planet was already finished and all of the available bits had been allotted, so where have they tacked these bits on?

I was most intrigued by Independent Olympic Athletes, what's going on here? Are they from outer space? Or are they humans that have rejected their own countries? When they win a medal what happens for their National Anthem? Does everybody just stand around whistling what ever takes their fancy? There are four of them, three men and one woman. I guess she's going to be busy, she could look like the back of a bus and still be beating them off with a stick.

Federated States of Micronesia, are these The Borrowers? Are they exempt from the high jump? Are they allowed to run beneath the hurdles? It seems only fair.

Lesotho. Now I'm a staunch supporter of Diversity, but I got this one hopelessly wrong. Less said the better.

Palau I was pleased they got in, I love their rice.

Saint Kitts and Nevis & Vincent and the Grenadines. I am convinced these are those people you meet on holiday, swap addresses with and tell each other "if you're ever our way you simply must drop in and see us" then pray they never do.

Vanuatu. This one didn't fool me at all, I clearly remember The Starship Enterprise visiting this one. It was the episode where Sulu gets whisked down to the surface and has to use martial arts to fight a man dressed in a marshmallow whilst Uhura tries to snog Kirk.

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coppinpr
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby coppinpr » Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:25 am

Burkina Faso is a skin disease, Benin is what you treat it with, the team from Myanmar is made up from the staff of the Spanish hotel of the same name, Comoros is the tour company who got them there, Kirbati is an Indian bread, Nauru is the guy who eats it, Kyrgyzstan has duel nationality (South African and Essex) and Saint Timor-Leste is the patron saint of not winning any medals (ever).
Aruba I must defend, been there four times, it's a very pretty island just off the coast of Venezuela in the Caribbean, till recently part of the Dutch Antilles and still used the Dutch guilder until they went independent. Now they use the $. They went out on their own because they are rich and the rest DA are not! Known as one of the ABC islands (Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao).

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operator bell
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby operator bell » Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:40 am

Womens' beach volleyball, Brazilian team. Enough said.

Apart from that, meh.

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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby Guest » Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:20 pm

the somalian olympic committe have apologised saying there team did not realise
that shooting and sailing were 2 different events

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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby badpenny » Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:06 am

The channel changer on my TV has broken. No matter what button I press I can only get grown people chasing each other around in circles. Sometimes just for a change I get stuck with someone poorly interviewing what can only be described as an old woman who looks like a wrinkled old man.

Consequently I'm getting knowledgeable about running.
How many different running games do they need? There's all sorts from 100 metres to Gas, carrying sticks, jumping puddles and lying on the floor afterwards - running contests.
Why is one considered more important than the other? Plus it takes them all ages to do and they need a special running track to play on.

I think they should all be in just one race, held down the nearest park. They could start off doing 100 metres forward hopping skipping and jumping over the dog turds, followed by running backwards for 100 metres avoiding discarded needles then 100 metres forward egg and spoon over a couple of winos on benches ending with 100 metres laying on their back.
That should sort out the good ones............ oh, and they should do it at night when I don't watch tv.

dirtdog

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coppinpr
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby coppinpr » Mon Aug 06, 2012 1:14 pm

What gets me is 100 mt runners all thank their coaches, mothers, fathers, wives, the crowd and the general population of their home country but never a good word for the plantation owners who got them there in the first place! dirtdog

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badpenny
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby badpenny » Mon Aug 06, 2012 1:26 pm

That's bananas!........ and you know it.

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john t peterson
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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby john t peterson » Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:05 pm

My British Friends,

At the risk of poking the hornet's nest one last time, I offer my sincere congratulations for an Olympic Games done right! The last two weeks have been nothing short of spectacular, both in spectacle and execution. Despite the misgivings of our diminutive Mitt-the-Twitt, you've set the bar for future games very high indeed.

Well done, lads and lasses.

J Peterson
Your American Admirer of Olympic Proportion /\UK/\

PS Where'd the Queen learn to skydive?

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Re: Bloody Olympics

Postby badpenny » Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:27 am

That's very kind of you John, however we only paid for it, mainly with money stolen from the charities that are relied on to do the government's work for them.

What I think you may have missed is that we are so anally retentive over here, that was just a practice; the proper event is still to happen. :cool:


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