Enter the Honourable Judge's favourite tavern for a dram of Tittle Tattle. There's an ancient bandit in the corner, but I forget his name...
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jimmy55
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IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby jimmy55 » Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:19 pm

IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Please feel free to share this important information with as many as you feel may benefit! Now. just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz… !!CHEERS!!

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badpenny
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby badpenny » Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:43 pm

I told my friend Jack Daniels what you said, he remarked you're a light weight.

andydotp
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby andydotp » Thu Nov 29, 2012 6:32 am

So did my mate Jim Beam. :roll: :roll: (well someone was going to say it)!!

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badpenny
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby badpenny » Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:03 am

Jameson keeping quiet is he?

andydotp
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby andydotp » Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:26 am

Didn't even turn up, apparently out with the Baileys :roll:
Mr PM, please. I quit.

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badpenny
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby badpenny » Thu Nov 29, 2012 1:24 pm

When you hear the name “Jack Daniel” you will probably, like most people, think of whiskey. Not many people know that Jack Daniel is not only famous for his whiskey but is also famous for his death from stubbing his toe.

There was a morning in 1911 when Jack Daniel was trying to access his safe but had could not remember the combination. In anger and frustration he kicked the safe and injured his toe. The injury to his toe caused an infection which he left untreated. The infection ended up killing him.


............... oh well, back to Cabernet Sauvignon I suppose.

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arrgee
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby arrgee » Fri Nov 30, 2012 2:05 pm

The irony is that, had he poured his own whisky on the infection, it would probably have saved him '!'

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badpenny
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Re: IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

Postby badpenny » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:29 pm

Arrgee wrote:The irony is that, had he poured his own whisky on the infection, it would probably have saved him '!'
Very true Arrgee, however he'd have then most likely broken his neck trying to lick it off.


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