Enter the Honourable Judge's favourite tavern for a dram of Tittle Tattle. There's an ancient bandit in the corner, but I forget his name...
andydotp
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Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby andydotp » Mon Dec 24, 2012 1:19 am

Well,,,,,,,, seeing as we are down the cyber pub I may as well put down my imaginary pint and have a rant.
(I didn't intend to be that annoying guy who pops in occasionally but will generously spare someone else from the ignomany and cop the resultant flack by being the first to say "Christmas, Bah Humbug").
At our work breakup 'do' at the local lawn bowls club last week (having been instructed by Bossman not to partake of anything remotely joyous when all around were) I broke a tooth on a chunk of ice in my lemonade.
Within two days I was in sufficient agony to warrant a trip the my dentist - complete with bag of ice pressed to obscenely swollen cheek. "Ooh, that looks painful" receptionist says! "Excrusthsthiating" I dribbled. "Dentist can see you on January 18th or 19th". "Ah, marvelous......Mewwy Cwishmuth to you too"...
Thankfully the A&E Dept at the Royal Dental Hospital (which btw I was involved in the design & construction of) were more helpful and having sat for three hours in a packed waiting area with tears running down my face whilst the latest bunch of overly-tattoed & facially pierced Collingwood supporters were getting their perfectly healthy front teeth removed I heard my name called.
"Robert Pollitt, is Robert here" (My birth name though I go by my middle one).
Ten minutes later I was minus the offending tooth (two actually) and they'd relieved me of unbelievable pain plus next week's rent money.
I get home to log on to pennymachines but foolishly get distracted by an email and click on an attached link.
BAM!! Computer screams "Threat Detected" so I backtrack and shut down.
Re-open and all I get is a non-escapable notice perportedly from the Australian Federal Police saying my PC is locked whilst they undertake background checks....and here's a list of all the squillions in fines you're facing and the lengthy jail terms attached!.
Ever so decently of the boys in blue however, if I so choose, I can transfer lots of my hard-earned to a UKash account via the attached link, be unlocked and be free to go about my cyber business...."evenin' all'.
9 hours and the week after next's rent money later and the computer boffin has fixed me up and the Feds haven't surrounded my apartment complex.
And it's only Christmas Eve....
Thank goodness I had the foresight to save a frozen meal (Atlantic salmon with pasta) for Cristmas Dinner tommorow.
And three ginger nuts.
Hope yours is muchly betterer.
andydotp :byee:

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jimmy55
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby jimmy55 » Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:58 am

Never mind Andy, there may be a nice blender from Argos under the tree! Have a good Chrithhhmath, Jim.

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arrgee
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby arrgee » Sun Dec 30, 2012 4:36 pm

Teeth,........... yep they can be very annoying sometimes Andy.

Way back in the last century when I was in my teens I rode motorbikes. Two mates and I went out for a ride one afternoon, this was in the days when helmets were not madatory by law, it was a lovely warm summer afternoon and I thought to myself do I need my helmet? (what a stupid thought) well I did put it on and had I not, then I doubt whether I would be here today.

Off we went in our usual careful way, only about 50mph through town and 90mph through countryside (didn't want to use too much petrol as it cost 3/7 per gallon - about 18p in todays money). On the way home I was leading the trio, took a bend too fast and when I straightend up my footrest dug into the tarmac of the pavement. Interesting feeling, flying through the air unaided at 40mph. I landed on said pavement some 10 feet ahead of where I thought I should be and distictly remember thinking, as the pavement rapidly raced by only 4 inches from my face "shit I've come off again"

However I digress, ah yes teeth, I lost 6 of them and broke my jaw in two places, suffered numerous cuts to my face, mouth and knees, spent a week in hospital and had two operations on my jaw to help bring it back to a semblance of its former shape. I spent 6 weeks with my jaw wired and could not open my mouth, so all I could do was eat 'baby slop' sucked up through a straw. I woke up from the second op and there standing over me was the surgeon, a jolly fellow from New Zealand who said, "you are lucky mate, if you had not knocked out your front teeth, we would have had to remove two in order to get the straw through to feed you" - great, thanks Doc.

I was more careful from then on, and therefore bought a bigger motorbike (BSA Gold Star DBD 34 - 60mph in first gear!) as my Dad said, 'you have learned your lesson son and I think you will now slow down a lot' hummm. Shortly after that I took up sidecar road-racing (Brands Hatch, Thruxton, Silverstone etc) I was the 'passenger' hanging my rear end and body out of the platform at speed around a left hand bend or quickly climbing over the rear wheel on a right hand bend - it was a lot safer, as they all travelled the same way. I survived, and still have my own original teeth plus 6 look-a-likes which fit well and, well, look better than my original so all was not lost.

Hope you enjoyed your salmon and pasta Andy.

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badpenny
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby badpenny » Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:52 pm

I guess we now know the origin of your name Arrgee, I imagine your mates have you heard you screaming it a few times over the years.

I hope Andy is on the mend and enjoyed a typical Ozzie Xmas Barby Doll on Banzai Beach.

andydotp
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby andydotp » Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:26 pm

Cheers Arrgee, BP,
Sounds like a horror bike crash that one. OUCH!
Indeed, flying through the air at 40MPH awaiting the inevitable grazing touch-down and possibly thinking there's half a ton of bike to follow,,,, not my idea of sport. Always preferred my 'flying' on rock faces.. Not sure how many seconds my ninety-footer off Anglesea took but I do recall the little 'runners' (teeny-weeny metal thingos you weedle into cracks for protection) popping one afterr the other :shock: until one finally held. I ended up a mere 30cm off the boulders. Succeeded second try though :D .
Yes, my antipodean Christmas was delghtful thanks for asking, hope eveyone else's went off without a hitch.
Did we get bandits from Santa or Allwins?
I got a blender from Argos off jimmy55 !!THUMBSX2!!
Here's to 2013 !!CHEERS!!
andydotp

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jimmy55
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby jimmy55 » Mon Dec 31, 2012 6:47 pm

Maybe a quiet night in tonight Andy?

Best wishes all for 2013! Jim

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badpenny
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby badpenny » Mon Dec 31, 2012 7:46 pm

jimmy55 wrote:Maybe a quiet night in tonight Andy?

Best wishes all for 2013! Jim

Why ..... what's happening around quarter past eight?

Jeremy

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treefrog
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby treefrog » Mon Dec 31, 2012 8:08 pm

In the Times today, it appears the age of 32 is the turning point for people getting their slippers out and making a nice cup of cocoa on New Years eve, it seems three quarters have no interest in going out to celebrate at all......and there I was blaming how things had changed like when pubs stopped people doing pub crawls and charging, obviously just getting old it seems.....

Happy New Year .:*+*:.

andydotp
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby andydotp » Mon Dec 31, 2012 11:03 pm

badpenny wrote:jimmy55 wrote:
Maybe a quiet night in tonight Andy?

Best wishes all for 2013! Jim



Why ..... what's happening around quarter past eight?

Jeremy
Wittiest post of the year award to BP methinks......??
a.p

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arrgee
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Re: Festive Season off to a flying start,,,,

Postby arrgee » Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:48 pm

Badpenny wrote:I guess we now know the origin of your name Arrgee
Actually BP it comes from a character that I created way back in the 1970s, I drew a series of cartoon strips showing this chap in all sorts of situations and moods, both high and low. The epithet comes from my initials and the cartoon character often became more than a passing resemblance to myself during those days. This is one of the early cartoons from 1973.
arrgee2A.jpg


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