This country is so stuffed!

Enter the Honourable Judge's favourite tavern for a dram of Tittle Tattle. There's an ancient bandit in the corner, but I forget his name...
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operator bell
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by operator bell »

Oh, I see things haven't changed that much during my absence.
The coalition government’s just announced salary cuts for police officers after giving a tax cut for top earning bankers and calling for a 32% payrise for MPs.
Here's a link to a satirical article about it. If your ISP is 3UK, you can't read it, sorry. They're thinking of the children (you).
http://tompride.wordpress.com/2013/01/1 ... d-skivers/
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badpenny
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by badpenny »

Thanks OP B I enjoyed that and it's now bookmarked for further visiting.

Today has proven to be one of those wonderful moments in life when reality outstrips satire and imaginative humour.

Laugh number one.
I lifted this from The BBC News site ........

Illegal immigrants fleeing Britain are paying criminal gangs to smuggle them out of the UK, the BBC's Panorama programme has found.

The migrants are charged as much as £1,500 for the chance to be taken to mainland Europe.

Some want to try their luck elsewhere in the EU.


We are so stuffed even those who don't pay taxes , ignore motor insurance, fill up and drive off and fill their pockets before walking out of shops; can't afford to live here and are paying money to get out! You couldn't write a funnier sit-com for TV.

I know some may be itching to reply celebrating this exodus and don't misunderstand me anything that deters shysters and leaches is good news to me. And rats deserting sinking ships etc. is a valid comment, however what could possibly be more indicative of the title of this thread than illegal immigrants paying to get out?

Today's laugh number two.
When I revisited The BBC site to get The URL in order to add a link, I saw the Government Spin Doctors had insulted our collective intelligence by getting the BBC to insert the following ..............
The government said it is because they are cracking down on organised immigration crime.
Oh?... of course that's why they'll be paying to get out ....... yeah right!

I distinctly remember Maslow's Hierachy of Needs saying that an individual's fundamental requirements are Warmth, Food, Drink, Sleep and I believe Sex and Pooping were in there as well, how remiss of Maslow to overlook A piece of paper that says I can live here as being a basic essential?

Going to keep me smiling all day this one............ if only I had fifteen hundred sovs ...... I could go with them.

Jreemy
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coppinpr
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by coppinpr »

if only I had fifteen hundred sovs ...... I could go with them
you could go to Australia where coronets grow on trees (ive been told) on the down side though, i recently read that of the 6 most poisonous animals on the planet Austraila has .............all of them !SQUID! oh and there are other problems xX><Xx
no offence andy, its just that is snowing here and its not there :cry:
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slotalot
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

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Hi Andy,
just in case you don’t know what snow looks like, !PUZZLED!
here if the view taken from my bedroom window here in deepest Yorkshire just 2 minutes ago....
and that’s another reason to leave this country!!! !!BRRRR!!
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badpenny
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

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According to Giggle .......

6 Most Poisonous Animals In the World

1.) Poison Dart Frog
2.) Blue-Ring Octopus
3.) Stonefish
4.) Inland Taipan
5.) Box Jellyfish
6.) Brazilian Wandering Spider

Well I reckon that one of those has wandered off and is clearly lost.
Another one only needs his dart taken off him.
Nobody's told me the colour of my ring so why upset him?
I never eat fish, in fact I firmly refuse to eat anything that swims in its own pee and poo.
Don't go inland
Keep the box closed!

Job jobbed!
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badpenny
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by badpenny »

The reason the road outside Stuart's house is so deserted has nothing to do with the weather.

It's more to do with the way he takes photographs regardless of how many minutes ago!
When Elaine heard he wanted a flash camera for Xmas she misunderstood.
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slotalot
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

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Some mate you are dirtdog
You told me you had burnt all the negatives!!! :oops:
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badpenny
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by badpenny »

Nope still got this one ........

Neg.jpg

PS How much Blu Tack did you use keeping that card in place?
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jimmy55
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

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It's frozen in place!
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slotalot
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by slotalot »

badpenny wrote:PS How much Blu Tack did you use keeping that card in place?
not a lot!!! :oops:
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john t peterson
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by john t peterson »

Nice man boobs, S-A-L! !OMFG!
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treefrog
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

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Are you sure that's not a picture of me........ :#:
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operator bell
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by operator bell »

Now is that any way to greet the nice Council Tax Inspector?
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coppinpr
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by coppinpr »

Please tell us what the girl did with the mike? Or was that originally attached to you? Let me guess, she was your girlfriend but you got too cocky so she broke it off :lol:
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badpenny
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by badpenny »

treefrog wrote:Are you sure thats not a picture of me........ :#:
No Tom that is not a picture of you, no need to worry ............

This one's a picture of you ..................
utf-8BSU1HMDAzMjQtMjAxMzAxMDEtMTQwNy5qcGc-1.jpg

I took it because minutes after you sat there they came along and put the "Wet Floor" sign next to you.

Do you think they'd heard about you at Coventry 2 years previous? :cool:
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treefrog
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by treefrog »

I think I was wetting myself with the prices the lots were going for...... '!'
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by andydotp »

Hi chaps,
Sorry, been away from my computer for a few days fruit and Coronet picking up in the bush so jumping in late,,
Nice looking snow there in Yorkshire,,,brrrrrrrrrrr.
As for Britain being stuffed, I heard on the radio this arvo that the BBC has "airbrushed" two old episodes of Fawlty Towers and cut Cleese's Goosestep scene from 'The Germans' sketch and cut The Major's mutterings about 'darkies' at the England v India cricket...for fear of offending anyone. Now that really is stuffed!! !!RANT!!
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slotalot
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Re: This country is so stuffed!

Post by slotalot »

RECYCLING. :D
As some of you may know I have been a keen recycler for as long as I remember, long before it became a National sport here in the UK. /\UK/\
Our local recyclers are SITA, a Spanish company who forced our local recyclers out of business about 5 years ago.
We have bags and boxes for paper, plastic, metal and food waste. The food waste will only be collected if it is in the special bio-degradable bags that have SITA’s name on and can only be got from them. So, what to do when you need some more bags? Well, for the past 5 years you just ask the wagon driver or the lad who empties the food bucket to give you some more, and so far this has worked fine, but for the last 3 weeks I have left a note on the food bucket asking for more bags, each time the note disappeared when the bucket was emptied, but no bags have been left. Yesterday, I got home to find they had done their weekly collection, and again the note was gone, but not only did they NOT leave any more bags they didn’t empty the bucket either!!! :!?!:
So as I didn’t have a contact number for SITA, I rang the local council office to ask who dealt with this and could I have some more bags. I was told that SITA gave out the bags, and I was given a number to ring. When SITA answered the phone, I was told that they did not deal with supplies of bags, and I was given another number and extension to ring. It was the number of the local council office that I rang in the first place. Finally got through to a human being. I told her the tail, she told me they no longer kept the bags on the collection vehicles because they were using too many and, if I gave her my address, she would get some sent out to me.
Three hours passed and a small van with two men inside stopped outside my house. One of them got out and tossed a roll of bags over the gate, so I quickly went out and asked if he was going to empty the bucket as well? 'Sorry', was the reply, 'it’s not on my list - you will have to ring the office and they will send someone for it'???? :dammit:
So I rang the office again and spoke to the same girl as before. She apologised and said she would see to it. Two hours passed and a small van with two men inside (yes the same ones) pulled up outside. One got out and emptied the bucket, then drove away.
So to answer the question... How Many Men does it take to empty a bucket.....?
Answer... too many!!! !!MEXWAVE!!
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