Enter the Honourable Judge's favourite tavern for a dram of Tittle Tattle. There's an ancient bandit in the corner, but I forget his name...
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badpenny
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Philosophy doesn't have to be deep

Postby badpenny » Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:34 pm

Philosophers speaking straight
 
~ Betsy Salkind... 
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.


~ Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.


~ Prince Philip... 
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.


~ Harrison Ford... 
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.


~ Spike Milligan... 
The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.


~ Jean Rostand... 
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.


~  Arnold Schwarzenegger... 
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.


~ WH Auden... 
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.


~ Jonathan Katz... 
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.


~ Johnny Carson... 
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Steve Martin... 
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.


~ Jimmy Durante... 
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
 
~ George Roberts. 
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.


~ Jonathan Winters... 
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.


~ Robert Benchley... 
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.


~ John Glenn... 
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.


~ David Letterman... 
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.


~ Howard Hughes... 
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I'm a billionaire.


~ Old Italian proverb.. 
After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.


BP

bod
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Re: Philosophy doesn't have to be deep

Postby bod » Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:11 am

Confucious:

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day...

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badpenny
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Re: Philosophy doesn't have to be deep

Postby badpenny » Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:52 pm

Man who take girl into wood on hill not on level.

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brigham
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Re: Philosophy doesn't have to be deep

Postby brigham » Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:18 pm

Woman who cook carrots and...
Oh! That one doesn't work written down.


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