We were in Doff's car and I was driving when suddenly ........ "whoop whoop" and I saw an unmarked rozzer in my mirror complete with blue strobes behind his radiator grill. Understanding that he wanted to get past me toot sweet I indicated left and pulled into a lay-by.
To my utter astonishment he followed me and drew up behind. "Perhaps he's lost" I commented to Doff.
A 12 year old and his slightly older brother clambered out, very polite, they smilingly enquired if I was driving on my own insurance. Only their on board whizz box had told them that the female owner only had insurance for owner driver and nobody else was named.
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask why they had assumed that Doff didn't sport a beard. However I've seen the TV programs where they follow traffic cops around and know that my comment would be received as joyfully as .....
"ain't youse twatters got nuffin better to do than hassle scrotes like me?"
And seeing as I've never seen the attraction in wearing a Burberry cap sideways whilst running like my hair is on fire shortly before hiding in someone else's wheely bin I bit my tongue and merely answered in the affirmative.
He asked me the registration of my car so he could check my insurance details.
Now I don't know about you, but I can remember the number plates of all of my Father's cars when I was a child and even the registrations of my first three motorbikes. Ask me what the hall wallpaper looks like or how many ears Doff has and I falter somewhat, so the chances of me reciting the number of my current car were on a par with winning the lottery!
I shrugged my elbows and told him it was a blue S type Jag, "did that help?" ........... it seemed it did! He nattered into his chattering brooch and almost immediately the return reply informed him how many Bri Nylon socks I owned, how hopeless I am with women and why, what my favourite internet sites are, and Yes I was insured with Swiftsure, but No it didn't cover me to drive other vehicles .
It seemed I was back in the hands of the "Boys in Blue" yet again, not so serious as 2009 but it was becoming a habit.
We were about to destroy a forest in order to complete the paperwork that was going to result in a shed load of points being deposited on my licence not to mention their purloining oodles of my Gold Splonders. I started to think to myself how much I wished we had come on the bike now, after all I was only viewing a machine, it was on e-Bay I couldn't take it home with me when it struck me....
The Bike!!!!.... that's insured!!!.... "Try my bike insurance" I casually pleaded from my begging position in the gravel.
"What's its registration and which company?" The policeman enquired.
My mind wondered up the staircase imagining all sorts of wallpaper .......
"Errrrr .... silver ..... ummmm .... Harley Davidson" I proudly recalled.
Further mutterings with the tiny voice on his shoulder confirmed that I was indeed covered on that policy to drive all vehicles. .... that was a close one!
I sighed a heave of relief, then realising I'd done that the wrong way round I heaved a sigh of relief, we swopped addresses for Christmas cards and all went our way.
So caution to all UK drivers, that old benefit the insurance companies used to give us whereby we could drive vehicles not owned by us but with the owner's permission and they'd cover us 3rd party is now something else they want us to pay for.
Oh .... and the machine was duff!