(I didn't intend to be that annoying guy who pops in occasionally but will generously spare someone else from the ignomany and cop the resultant flack by being the first to say "Christmas, Bah Humbug").
At our work breakup 'do' at the local lawn bowls club last week (having been instructed by Bossman not to partake of anything remotely joyous when all around were) I broke a tooth on a chunk of ice in my lemonade.
Within two days I was in sufficient agony to warrant a trip the my dentist - complete with bag of ice pressed to obscenely swollen cheek. "Ooh, that looks painful" receptionist says! "Excrusthsthiating" I dribbled. "Dentist can see you on January 18th or 19th". "Ah, marvelous......Mewwy Cwishmuth to you too"...
Thankfully the A&E Dept at the Royal Dental Hospital (which btw I was involved in the design & construction of) were more helpful and having sat for three hours in a packed waiting area with tears running down my face whilst the latest bunch of overly-tattoed & facially pierced Collingwood supporters were getting their perfectly healthy front teeth removed I heard my name called.
"Robert Pollitt, is Robert here" (My birth name though I go by my middle one).
Ten minutes later I was minus the offending tooth (two actually) and they'd relieved me of unbelievable pain plus next week's rent money.
I get home to log on to pennymachines but foolishly get distracted by an email and click on an attached link.
BAM!! Computer screams "Threat Detected" so I backtrack and shut down.
Re-open and all I get is a non-escapable notice perportedly from the Australian Federal Police saying my PC is locked whilst they undertake background checks....and here's a list of all the squillions in fines you're facing and the lengthy jail terms attached!.
Ever so decently of the boys in blue however, if I so choose, I can transfer lots of my hard-earned to a UKash account via the attached link, be unlocked and be free to go about my cyber business...."evenin' all'.
9 hours and the week after next's rent money later and the computer boffin has fixed me up and the Feds haven't surrounded my apartment complex.
And it's only Christmas Eve....
Thank goodness I had the foresight to save a frozen meal (Atlantic salmon with pasta) for Cristmas Dinner tommorow.
And three ginger nuts.
Hope yours is muchly betterer.