This country is so stuffed!

[badpenny]

During the last few years The Post Office has closed over 6400 post offices, and are planning to close another 1 in 9.
In the last two years we have lost ........
Woolworths
Habitat
Threshers
MFI
Comet
Virgin Mega Stores
HMV
Etam
Thomas Cooke
Thorntons
Peacocks
Hepworths
Dixons
Kwik Save
Mothercare
.................... and today Jessops called in The Receivers.
Also today Scotland Yard announced London police to be based in post offices and High Street Stores as Scotland Yard makes £500m cuts

Errr ........ What Post Offices and High St. Stores would those be then?

Whatever, I guess it's better to have them out in The Community instead of hiding in Police Stations under a mountain of paperwork. Also Shop Lifting should decline which means The Scrotes will be forced to pay for their habits by house breaking instead, which in turn will be eased by having Rozzers based in shops!

Hello is that the Police? I've been burgled, could you please bring round a TV a DVD player, a bottle of Scotch, book of stamps and a bag of potatoes please?

Jeremy

[jimmy55]

High street retail can never compete against the internet while commercial landlords charge such extortionate rents and business rates are so high (for absolutely no service from councils).
Shame about Jessops, I hadn't heard that news.
Open more arcades perhaps!

[treefrog]

The companies who did well over Xmas, was mainly done online......sign of the times, we are just too lazy to go out now

[coppinpr]

It is possible to be a high street shop and do well through the internet, John Lewis and Debanhams are prime examples, shares going up and up, share of the trade going up as well. Comet just sat there expecting the internet to save them without putting in any effort. The internet won't come to you in the high street, you need to go to it and use it wisely. I myself have a high street business and our website generates about 30% of our business at Christmas although we don't actually sell online. You're right about the business rates 100% but rents are a direct result of supply and demand. No demand equals lower rents, can't work any other way I'm afraid.

[jimmy55]

You're right about the business rates 100% but rents are a direct result of supply and demand. No demand equals lower rents, can't work any other way I'm afraid

The problem in the rental sector is also the structure of commercial leases... upward only reviews etc. which means you are tied in while other rents are falling. In our town (small and very seasonal) the former Threshers store is still empty after two businesses came and went as they want 20K rent! Even a charity shop tried and failed!
As you say, getting internet sales in parallel to the retail is crucial these days. I wonder who the next big name will be?

[badpenny]

As you say, getting internet sales in parallel to the retail is crucial these days. I wonder who the next big name will be?

PATOSS THE PROFESSIONAL ASSOCIATION OF TEACHERS OF STUDENTS WITH SPECIFIC LEARNING DIFFICULTIES LIMITED ?

[bryans fan]

Thanks BP

[badpenny]

And in today's news ............

Seven prisons are to close and two more will be partially shut in England.

It also mentions considering opening a warehouse size one to replace 2,000 of the cells they'll lose.
Perhaps they could use a closed Comet Store next to a Halfords where a policeman ends up being posted.
Could save a few bob on transport.

[coppinpr]

Perhaps they could use a closed Comet Store next to a Halfords where a policeman ends up being posted.

That would be a short lived answer. Halfords must be the next one out the door, (if PC World doesn't get there first). Not one of the UK's best shopping experiences, with half the lights turned off, as seems to be their policy. The policeman wouldn't be able to read his book, still it would be a nice place for him to nod off for an hour or two and much more frightening than a prison for the bad guys.

[badpenny]

Superb coppinpr I love it.

All High St shops harboring a rozzer should be called PC World!

[operator bell]

Oh, come now, it isn't as bad as all that. The banks and bond traders are still doing OK, aren't they? Fortnum and Masons is still open? Stringfellows still pretty crowded? And I don't see any high-class jewelers or Ferrari dealerships on that list. Besides, these energy-sucking high street stores would have to close anyway in a few years, when Britain's electricity production is cut by 80% to meet EU carbon emission standards and the cost goes up to two pounds a kW.hr.

[badpenny]

Phew ..... that is a relief! Thanks OB

[coppinpr]

Oh, come now, it isn't as bad as all that. The banks and bond traders are still doing ok, aren't they? Fortnum and Masons is still open? Stringfellows still pretty crowded? And I don't see any high-class jewelers or Ferrari dealerships on that list

The bankers and bond traders are doing OK but not the banks and trading houses (now there is a surprise). Fortnums are, unbelievably, owned by Primart, the cheapest clothing chain in the UK. They bought Fortnums as a tax loss and it's done its job by losing money every year for the last ten years. There are no Ferrari dealerships in the UK. Ferrari rents space in other dealerships. My wife is a jeweler and the trade consists mostly in buying scrap gold rather than selling new items and NO ONE who is anyone would be seen dead in Stringfellows
We do have Wonga.com so no one needs to go short of money

[operator bell]

Shoot, you leave a country for 25 years and they go and change everything. Fortnums owned by a chain store?!? Where does the Queen buy her groceries these days, then?

[bryans fan]

Lidl and Poundland!

[slotalot]

Where does the Queen buy her groceries these days, then?

She has quite a big garden at the back of the palace, she could grow her own
Well that's my nighthood for sevices to vintage slot machines out of the window

[coppinpr]

You can still have the nighthood, it's a thing muggers wear after dark in Brixton. It's the knighthood that might be out of your reach

[badpenny]

.......................... and NO ONE who is anyone would be seen dead in Stringfellows .................

That's why I didn't see you there on Wrinklies' Night last Tuesday!

Well that's my nighthood for sevices to vintage slot machines out of the window

Platalot.jpg (22.35 KiB) Viewed 3122 times

[slotalot]

Well done Pike!! ...I wondered who would be first to spot that.
But how did you know it was me?

[youngerap]

This will make you laugh. Just been in touch with the passport office. I applied for a renewal form a couple of weeks ago and so far have not received it. Spent 10 minutes getting through the crappy telephone menu system and then being transferred to the right department, just to be told that "the computer system failed and has not been printing the completed forms". I asked if they are now going to print the thing and was told that no, the computer no longer holds the data. I have to log on and try again or they can send a form by second class mail. Send it by mail, I said, because I cannot trust their crappy computer system. She actually said that would be her recommendation too, as the computer system is appalling! But all will be well later this year, because they have a new one coming. 'Good luck with that' was my response. 'We are going to need it' she said. This country is so stuffed.