Information needed

[coppinpr]

Early this week I had to do 4 hours detention (sorry I mean a speed awareness course) to avoid being birched (sorry I mean getting 3 points on my licence)
At the end of the course came the usual "any questions?"
Only one was asked:
"How do you make a car leave the skid marks shown on the road sign below?" Answers on a postcard to "the minister of transport, c/o the city of London asylum (sorry, Houses of Parliament).

[badpenny]

360° pirouette.
Also I suggest it's not sensible to ridicule the police or their systems, they have infinite time to invest in wasting yours and endless experience in entertaining themselves at your cost.

I came to this conclusion 18 years ago when I was stopped in the middle of a town because they didn't like the font on my number plate. I had sensibly replied to their enquiry as to how I was today sir by suggesting to them that they really should have better things to be dealing with.
They gently advised me that a number plate's purpose was to be legible in an agreed and uniform manner. I was then asked how I would feel if my Grandmother was run over by a vehicle that proved to be untraceable due to the registration plate being confusing.

Obviously they were 100% correct and I endorsed my position by shaking my head, tutting and confirming that I would review my beliefs concerning zombies as they had both been dead since the early 60s. I further requested photographic evidence of my previously believed extinct grandparents as they wandered the streets as I was sure the rest of the family would be keen to update their photograph albums.
The further few hours were less entertaining as I gave them chapter and verse supported by written evidence from when I was born in 1954 up to and including the moment I responded to their request and I pulled over.

BP

PS … at least I didn't learn what it's like to be spread eagled across the bonnet while peering down the business end of a semi automatic with the safety off. That was a different story and occurred in North Spain in 1975.

[coppinpr]

Well there is one thing we have in common, I was forcibly removed from a railway sleeper carriage at 1am in northern Spain in 1969 by by two Fascist (and in 1969, as they were in 75, they really were Fascist) policeman with semi-automatics with the safety off. Exciting times.

[john t peterson]

I once got stopped for a noise citation driving a car with a shot muffler. Does that count? (It's the best I can do.)

J Peterson
Gangsta, USA style

[badpenny]

….. only if your finger nails were dirty.

PS It's called an exhaust. A muffler is what a Scottish person wears around their neck in Winter and is made of wool.

[arrgee]

I was forcibly removed from a railway sleeper carriage at 1am

Slightly off-topic, but did you know that the record for peeing off our local railway station bridge was set at 1.00am and reached 4 sleepers along the track. To my recollection this was back in the late 1960s.

[special when lit]

Hope it wasn't an electrified line!

[arrgee]

No, an old branch line that was ripped up years ago. The most amusing part of this was that the surname of the lad who did this was 'Shot'.

[coppinpr]

What was his first name? "Long" or "Should be"?

Slightly off-topic, but did you know that the record for peeing off our local railway station bridge was set at 1.00am and reached 4 sleepers along the track. To my recollection this was back in the late 1960s.

I guess that would make him in his 70s now and lucky if his production could reach the ground let alone 4 sleepers.